Yesterday was JaKelle's 20th Birthday. For those of you who don't know, JaKelle one of my dear friends that passed away my senior year. In honor of her birthday on earth, her family usually hosts a balloon release. Well her parents were out of town yesterday and most people are off to school/on missions, so everyone just did it wherever they were. I decided to participate as well.

I tried to dedicate the day to JaKelle. I started the day with a prayer and shared a few words with JaKelle. It was very powerful. I also listened to all of the songs that reminded me of her (songs we danced to, songs she loved, songs that got me through her passing away). The first half of the day, I held in there pretty strong.

I went to a missionary lesson with a girl that has cancer. That hit home pretty hard (even though JaKelle did not have cancer), her suffering and family's suffering just broke my heart.

After the lesson I went to my institute class. The day before in Institute, Brother Bauer was talking about how things happen for 3 reasons. 1) Agency of others. 2) Agency of our own.  3) The fact we live in a fallen world.

Well in my head I was disagreeing a bit, but I bit my tongue. I felt like God's hand was still in all things, and he can exert his power when needed. For example, JaKelle had this freak sickness happen that no doctor could control. God could have done something, but He allowed her to return to Him. Around that same time, someone I know got in an awful accident, and walked away with absolutely no injury. Based on the looks of the impact, the individual should have died. God had his hand in saving him. So as much as people have their agency, God can still exert his power to help us be where we need to be.

Anyway, yesterday Brother Bauer got in a pretty bad accident, but walked away fine. That just proved my point, and reminded me how God's hand is in all things. It also reminded me of the tender mercies and experiences I had while JaKelle was fighting for her life for those 3 long months.






After institute, I took a trip to the dollar store to buy a balloon while listening to all my "JaKelle songs". At that point I broke down.

I collected myself enough to write a birthday shootout on the balloon, but it all went down hill after that.